Deen Talk! Revert Problems - Part One - "Coming Out" as Muslim

Picture not mine. Found on Pinterest.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum w rahmatullah w barakatu.

This is the first installment in a four-part series on revert problems. Today we talk about the first thing new Muslims really have to deal with - how to tell their friends and family that they are, or soon will be, Muslim.

In a society in which Muslims are regarded as terrorists, what is a new Muslim, or prospective Muslim, supposed to do when it comes to telling people that they have accepted Deen al-Haqq? If they live in an environment where people are extremely Islamophobic, is it permissible to lie or at the very least hide one's religion? Should new Muslimahs refrain from putting on the veil? How does one pray in a home where relatives refuse to accept their loved-one's new faith and who may even become violent at the revert's attempts to pray?

There are several responses to the above questions, all varying based upon what path or scholar a person follows. When it comes to lying about being Muslim, there is a concept in Shia Islam called taqiyya. This concept draws from Surah an-Nahl, ayyah 106: 

With the exception of those who are forced to say they do not believe, although their hearts remain firm in faith, those who reject God after believing in Him and open their hearts to disbelief will have the wrath of God upon them and a grievous punishment awaiting them.

This is understood to mean, according to those who practice Shia Islam, that one in danger may deny belief in Islam verbally while still believing in Islam within one's heart. Regarding taqiyya, the major Sunni belief is that we should not verbally deny our faith as this is cowardly. Rather, we should die as martyrs, with the Shahada on our lips; however, eating pork or drinking wine under duress or threat of death is allowed and encouraged over acceptance of death by hunger or thirst.

Some scholars, both Shia and Sunni, have issued fatawa permitting Muslimahs in the West to take off the veil if they feel unsafe wearing it where they live. After the claim that khimar is not fard, this is the most liberal opinion. For many, however, wearing of the veil can be likened to verbally accepting Islam, so to take it off could fall under the label of cowardice previously mentioned. For many Muslimahs, the middle road is to cover in more socially acceptable styles. Unfortunately, many get harassed then for not wearing hijab "correctly" (please see 'Women in Islam - Part 2 - Hijab and Supporting our Sisters' for more information).

Styles which cover less and/or show hair are generally viewed as "less extreme" by many non-Muslims.

When new sisters wear the tichel (Jewish style), shayla (loose style), or turban style coverings, whether out of fear of safety or due to being new to hijab, these sisters are then often harassed by those within the Ummah, which only further compounds the issue, making new Muslims, who likely feel alienated from their friends and family (who may have stopped speaking to them after they found out their loved one became Muslim) now are also being alienated by the family they chose - the family of the believers.

Some sisters are in situations where they cannot wear khimar or even modest clothing due to living with violently islamophobic individuals. I've had several approach me to ask what they should do and how they can pray without being attacked, verbally and physically, by the people they live with (usually out of necessity). For example, one sister has been in a situation so severe that if she closes her door for even a moment, her father will angrily open the door in case he finds her praying. My response to her was that she could pray her prayers at night in bed, so her parents would think she is sleeping. She could pray all of them in succession and can pray fajr from bed on time, in shaa Allah. Before doing the video for this blog, I found a few fatawa saying that since we live in a clean environment and the bathrooms during the time of the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, were absolutely disgusting and only used for waste (in contrast with the restrooms of today which have bath/shower, sink, mirror, make up, brush teeth, put on hijab, etc.), it is permissible for one to pray in a bathroom like this, so long as the toilet seat was put down before flushing and a towel placed on top of the lid to keep germs from spreading, in shaa Allah. I also found that if one does not have proper clothing in which to pray, one should pray anyway. Allahu alam. In all of these it is mentioned that we should have tawakkul (faith in the plan of God) and know that Allah is ar-Rahman ir-Raheem and believe He will accept our salah in these conditions.

Reverts face so many unique difficulties over those of the Ummah who grew up within Muslim household. What is important to remember is that Allah 'azza w jal has made it clear that those who struggle in His cause receive double reward:

Verily the one who recites the Qur’an beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have TWICE that reward.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

We must remain strong, because in today's society, being Muslim and following even the most basic tenets of Islam is Jihad! In shaa Allah, through the rest of this series we will address other problems reverts face, and through this we will reach the whole Ummah and make it more supportive of all Muslims. 

Jazakum Allahu kheiran,

Sajida.