Deen Talk! Revert Problems - Part Two - Anxiety, Masjihid, and Cliques.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum w rahmatullahi w barakatu.

Hello brothers and sisters! Today's Deen Talk! is on anxiety, masjihid, and cliques. This is something I have heard so many reverts talk about - how they are nervous to go to the masjid, and when they do, it's segregated or people look down on them for being of a different race, ethnicity, way of dress, etc... So in shaa Allah we will address these things in today's talk.

We've discussed in previous Deen Talk!s that anxiety can be heightened when doing new things within a new religion, such as going to the masjid, attending an iftar, or attending a halaqa. But today I want to touch on something people don't necessarily want to talk about, which is that the Ummah is part of the problem.

Absolutely a new Muslim will likely feel anxiety upon going to the masjid or a halaqa or an iftar for the first time - this is only natural. But the issue I'm talking about is that, on top of this natural anxiety, the Ummah has a tendency to make reverts, or even Muslims who have recently moved into a new area, feel unwelcome. I can't completely speak to what happens in the men's musalah, but I have received more greetings and kindness in the masjid from men than I have from sisters, astaghfirullah. If it wasn't for my Khala taking me in and bringing me to sit at her table with her daughters, I don't know that I would have been able to continue attending iftars in my first two weeks as a Muslim. I walked into the womens' food area and stopped in my tracks, unsure of who to talk to or where to sit, and even more nervous because there were few sisters my age and nearly everyone was speaking Hindi, Bangla, etc. Alhamdulillah for my Khala, who came over and took me to sit with her, or I may have just left! Wallahi. She was the only one to come talk to me until a bit later, after prayer.

It was even more noticeable this year during Ramadan. My masjid is building the women's musalah, and the eating area got smaller due to this. Most of the older women sat with their specific  group of friends, even going so far as to move my stuff to take the seat I was using when I went to make wudhu. Astaghfirullah. My co-wife didn't know what to do when it happened so she just moved us down further so it wouldn't happen again. Some of the Aunties at the masjid would return my salaams but with a bit of annoyance (due to them being in conversations with their "clique"). Now this isn't to say all of the Aunties were like this. I had several who spoke with me and hugged me and told me how good it was to see me without my cane, etc. But this experience happens frequently enough that it must be mentioned.

Even worse is outside of the masjid. In the mall, in the store, wherever, I tend to give salaams first and 90% of the time my salaams are not returned and I'd say 70% of that I get glares instead. I have wondered if it is because I wear niqab, and perhaps people disapprove of my niqab so they don't give salaams (astaghfirullah...); however, an Auntie who runs a store was talking with me and my co-wife, and she said it happens to her as well every day.

There is a culture of exclusion in the Ummah, one that can and will cause a breakdown of the community if we don't fix it.

We all have rights on each other in Islam, the foremost of them being to send and receive salaams, and to respond to salaams in an equal or greater way. But within our communities, people are so focused on their specific heritage or their specific friend-group that they exclude others. The Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, said:

"There is no superiority for an Arab over a non-Arab, nor for a non-Arab over an Arab. Neither is the white superior over the black, nor is the black superior over the white -- except by piety."

Yet still today we see sisters being asked to find another mosque to attend due to being Black. Brothers being turned down as marriage prospects because they aren't Pakistani, or because they are a revert, even though they outmatch others in Imaan and taqwa and knowledge of Deen. Our generation, the younger generation, has fought against this kind of segregation our whole lives - we grew up being taught about Martin Luther King, Jr., about the Civil War, about segregation and how immoral it was. We grew up in school learning, at least explicitly, that we are all equals (even if later down the road we learn that the stumbling blocks of institutionalize racism and other problems still exist and are in need of being torn down). It's because of this many of us are so vocal about inequality and racism and why so many of us are activists in our own right.

Unfortunately, the same can't always be said about the generation before us, as shown above.

This is where we tend to see the "cliquishness" in our Ummah. We see walls put up which exclude new Muslims who want to be a part of the community - invite-only or (astaghfirullah) pay-to-enter iftars, private halaqas, paid Eid gatherings. How are new Muslims supposed to join and engage in a community which shows them they are unwelcome?

For instance, iftars. My masjid does nightly iftars during Ramadan which are completely free and open to the public, no invite or reservation required. And alhamdulillah. Allahumma barik lahum. This is how it should be done! But in a larger masjid in a more affluent area, iftars are invite-only, and you have to know someone who knows someone in order to get in, should you be new. I was invited and able to attend one such iftar since I have an Auntie I befriended who knew the people organizing it. But while I was there, the only people I spoke to were that Auntie and the host. No one else introduced themselves, no one really spoke to me or my co-wife until the Auntie we knew introduced us to people and showed them some of my work (I make products to help reverts learn salah). Even then, it really was only the one Auntie who paid us any mind.

It's going to fall to our generation of Muslims to fix these things within the Ummah. We are going to have to insist upon equality between races and ethnicities and born vs. revert Muslims. We are going to have to insist upon always giving salaams, even if people continue not to reply (you will get the reward - they are only hurting themselves). We are going to have to go to our Imams, our Boards for our Masjihid, our outreach groups and request things which allow women to more easily attend the masjid, which help reverts and new Muslims to the area navigate the mosque, "Big Brother Big Sister" type programs to help new Muslims learn the basics (like it was during the time of our Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam).

And it is going to be hard. And we are going to feel lonely. Those who insist upon cliquish behavior likely will not wish to change. But we need to band together, even if we don't live near each other, and stay strong in this Jihad to make the Ummah more open and friendly and an actual COMMUNITY, as it is supposed to be.

Jazakum Allahu kheiran.

Sajida.

Look at me, the tiny goth niqabi!

Deen Talk! Revert Problems - Part One - "Coming Out" as Muslim

Picture not mine. Found on Pinterest.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum w rahmatullah w barakatu.

This is the first installment in a four-part series on revert problems. Today we talk about the first thing new Muslims really have to deal with - how to tell their friends and family that they are, or soon will be, Muslim.

In a society in which Muslims are regarded as terrorists, what is a new Muslim, or prospective Muslim, supposed to do when it comes to telling people that they have accepted Deen al-Haqq? If they live in an environment where people are extremely Islamophobic, is it permissible to lie or at the very least hide one's religion? Should new Muslimahs refrain from putting on the veil? How does one pray in a home where relatives refuse to accept their loved-one's new faith and who may even become violent at the revert's attempts to pray?

There are several responses to the above questions, all varying based upon what path or scholar a person follows. When it comes to lying about being Muslim, there is a concept in Shia Islam called taqiyya. This concept draws from Surah an-Nahl, ayyah 106: 

With the exception of those who are forced to say they do not believe, although their hearts remain firm in faith, those who reject God after believing in Him and open their hearts to disbelief will have the wrath of God upon them and a grievous punishment awaiting them.

This is understood to mean, according to those who practice Shia Islam, that one in danger may deny belief in Islam verbally while still believing in Islam within one's heart. Regarding taqiyya, the major Sunni belief is that we should not verbally deny our faith as this is cowardly. Rather, we should die as martyrs, with the Shahada on our lips; however, eating pork or drinking wine under duress or threat of death is allowed and encouraged over acceptance of death by hunger or thirst.

Some scholars, both Shia and Sunni, have issued fatawa permitting Muslimahs in the West to take off the veil if they feel unsafe wearing it where they live. After the claim that khimar is not fard, this is the most liberal opinion. For many, however, wearing of the veil can be likened to verbally accepting Islam, so to take it off could fall under the label of cowardice previously mentioned. For many Muslimahs, the middle road is to cover in more socially acceptable styles. Unfortunately, many get harassed then for not wearing hijab "correctly" (please see 'Women in Islam - Part 2 - Hijab and Supporting our Sisters' for more information).

Styles which cover less and/or show hair are generally viewed as "less extreme" by many non-Muslims.

When new sisters wear the tichel (Jewish style), shayla (loose style), or turban style coverings, whether out of fear of safety or due to being new to hijab, these sisters are then often harassed by those within the Ummah, which only further compounds the issue, making new Muslims, who likely feel alienated from their friends and family (who may have stopped speaking to them after they found out their loved one became Muslim) now are also being alienated by the family they chose - the family of the believers.

Some sisters are in situations where they cannot wear khimar or even modest clothing due to living with violently islamophobic individuals. I've had several approach me to ask what they should do and how they can pray without being attacked, verbally and physically, by the people they live with (usually out of necessity). For example, one sister has been in a situation so severe that if she closes her door for even a moment, her father will angrily open the door in case he finds her praying. My response to her was that she could pray her prayers at night in bed, so her parents would think she is sleeping. She could pray all of them in succession and can pray fajr from bed on time, in shaa Allah. Before doing the video for this blog, I found a few fatawa saying that since we live in a clean environment and the bathrooms during the time of the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, were absolutely disgusting and only used for waste (in contrast with the restrooms of today which have bath/shower, sink, mirror, make up, brush teeth, put on hijab, etc.), it is permissible for one to pray in a bathroom like this, so long as the toilet seat was put down before flushing and a towel placed on top of the lid to keep germs from spreading, in shaa Allah. I also found that if one does not have proper clothing in which to pray, one should pray anyway. Allahu alam. In all of these it is mentioned that we should have tawakkul (faith in the plan of God) and know that Allah is ar-Rahman ir-Raheem and believe He will accept our salah in these conditions.

Reverts face so many unique difficulties over those of the Ummah who grew up within Muslim household. What is important to remember is that Allah 'azza w jal has made it clear that those who struggle in His cause receive double reward:

Verily the one who recites the Qur’an beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have TWICE that reward.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

We must remain strong, because in today's society, being Muslim and following even the most basic tenets of Islam is Jihad! In shaa Allah, through the rest of this series we will address other problems reverts face, and through this we will reach the whole Ummah and make it more supportive of all Muslims. 

Jazakum Allahu kheiran,

Sajida.

Deen Talk! Women and Islam - Part Three - Feminism

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum.

This post marks the end of this three-part section on Women and Islam. Today's topic is Feminism - what it is/isn't, what it looks like, and how Islam is inherently feminist.

What is feminism?

feminism

[fem-uh-niz-uh m] 

noun

1.

the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of womenequal to those of men.

2.

(sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for theattainment of such rights for women.

Feminism is NOT a movement asserting women are "better" than men; this is a misconception due to second and third wave feminism, which focused on white, middle class women (particularly lesbian women in third wave feminism) and which housed a lot of anger toward men due to the great expanse of the inequalities between men and women at the time. The hatred of men is called misogyny and is absolutely NOT synonymous with feminism!

The current stage we are in (and the stage which every Muslimah scholar I know are a part of) is Fourth Wave feminism. While third wave feminism asserted feminism through sexual freedom (re: promiscuity) and women being an equal or dominant partner in a relationship, fourth wave feminism acknowledges that part of equality of and for women is her right to CHOSE. Previously it was said (and is still said among older feminists not part of the fourth wave movement) that one cannot dress modestly and be a femininist; one cannot be religious and be a feminist; one cannot wear hijab or niqab and be a feminist; one cannot be a "traditional" wife (submissive/obeisant) and be a feminist. Fourth wave feminism, however, says a woman is equal when she can make these decisions for herself. So women can choose to wear or not wear hijab, and we can't tell other women how to dress. Women can be submissive to their partners out of choice, and we can't bar her from the label of feminism.

What is wonderful about Islam, from a feminist perspective, is that it afforded women so many rights we previously did not have in Jahaliyyah society. Before Islam, women were possessions; chattel. If she worked, the money went to her husband. If she wasn't married, she essentially belonged to her father (or brother if father was deceased), and upon being married she was a possession of her husband. Women could not inherit unless there were no male to inherit, and once she married the inheritance went to her husband or another male relative. Women did not have the ability or right to divorce; only the male was able to initiate and finish the divorce, so many would trap women in an in-between state where the divorce was not final and they could not remarry, but where the husband had no obligations to her.

In Islam, this is very very different. Take a look at Surah an-Nisa. This surah sets out rules for the inheritance of women, giving her up to half of what the males in the family receive. Now, many people use this to say Islam isn't feminist. However, we need to look at the Quran in the narrative of the holy books in Abrahamic religions and in the narrative of society as a whole. In this we see that before Islam, women could not inherit. After Islam, women were entitled to inheritance! Yes it was less than the men, but Allah ta'ala eases us into things - just as it took 13 years for alcohol to be completely banned within the Ummah, now today societal laws have changed and women receive equal inheritance. Subhan'Allah! Allah al-Alim gives us the extreme on laws in order to guide us to do better.

In Islam, women are allowed to chose whether or not they work. In a marriage, the man is supposed to be able to fully support his wife/wives and children. However, should his wife/wives chose to work, only they are entitled to the money earned unless they decide to share it with the family. We see this in the example of Khadijah, radhi'Allahu 'anha, who was a business owner. Similarly, upon getting married women receive a mahr. Before Islam, men paid a "bride price" to the Wali (male relative involved in the marriage), essentially buying the wife. After Islam, men are instructed to pay the wife the bride price! This belongs only to her, and she can do whatever she wants with it. Should she save it, in the event of divorce the husband cannot take it back and she can use this money (if it was money or other currency given) in order to secure herself until she marries again, if she remarries.

"But what about hijab and niqab? It's so oppressive/backwards/shameful/anti-sex positive!"

Hijab was commanded to protect the women from being harassed. THIS IS NOT SAYING A WOMAN IS "ASKING FOR IT" IF SHE DOES NOT WEAR FULL HIJAB! But we need to look at the historical context of hijab. In Mecca and Medina, women wore khimur (veils) on their heads, but allowed them to flow behind their backs (please see Women in Islam part 3 for more information). There were prostitutes in the area who wore khimur in this way, and the Muslim women were being harassed by men looking to pay for sex! In order to show that they were NOT prostitutes, Allah ta'ala advised them to change how they wore the khimar and also to wear the jilbab. Some scholars also suggest that Muslim women then advised prostitutes and slaves to wear the khimar the Islamic way in order to avoid constant harassment from customers/men in general.

Finally, there is a Hadith from the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, that I wish to talk about (pictured above). Islam preaches for equality in relationships. While, yes, women are called to be obeisant to their husbands, they have rights on their husbands just as their husbands have rights upon them. Women are entitled to fair treatment of themselves and between wives. They are entitled to love and respect. They are entitled to sexual pleasure (and female genital mutilation of children and grown women is banned as it is harmful and also removes the ability for women to have sexual pleasure). Rasulullah, it is narrated, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, would help his wives clean and cook. He would joke with them and laugh. He was, subhan'Allah w bihawmdihi, a full and equal partner in all of his marriages. Allahumma barak 'ala Muhammad w 'ala ali Muhammad.

We need to remember that in the Quran, Allah 'azza w jal first called upon men to observe hijab and THEN called upon the women. He provided women with a minimum for rights they never had received before, calling on us to go above and beyond in fairness and mercy, and He provided women with a way to show that they were not prostitutes while out and about in the city and the market (from which we can deduce that women are not required to stay within the home but can, in fact, work or go to the market to shop, etc.). Because Allah ta'ala and His Messanger, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, called upon us to give women these never-before-heard-of rights and provided us with the perfect example on how to treat women, Islam is easily seen as inherently feminist. Now it's up to us to continue the progress started centuries ago in order to give women full societal equality so we can live up to the example of our Prophet, in shaa Allah.



Jazakum Allahu kheiran! Please let me know if there is anything you would like me to cover in the future.

Sajida.

Deen Talk! Women and Islam - Part 2 - Hijab and Supporting our Sisters

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum w rahmatullah w barakatu.

Today's topic is quite long, so you've been warned! (And I'm sorry this is late - family emergencies.) The topic we are covering is Hijab and Supporting our Sisters.

First off, let's answer the question of what is hijab?

Nowadays people argue that hijab (as in the headscarf) is not required in Islam, and that the Quran never mentions hijab. This is a huge misunderstanding of the text. Hijab itself means veil, covering, or screen; it refers to ones dress, actions, and thoughts, and is a synonym of hayyah, or modesty. Allah ta'ala commands hijab in Surah an-Nur, ayyah 31:

And tell believing women that they should lower their glances, guard their private parts, and not display their charms beyond what [it is acceptable] to reveal; they should let their headscarves fall to cover their necklines and not reveal their charms except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their womenfolk, their slaves, such men as attend them who have no sexual desire, or children who are not yet aware of women’s nakedness; they should not stamp their feet so as to draw attention to any hidden charms. Believers, all of you, turn to God so that you may prosper.

Here, where M.A.S. Abdul Haleem uses the word "headscarfs," he is translating the word "khimur," which in pre-Islamic times referred to a headscarf or veil worn by women, Pagan, Jewish, Christian, or otherwise. Women at the time, especially prostitutes, would wear their khimur behind their backs in order to be enticing or seductive. So this ayyah is a command to take what is already present, the head covering, and change how it was worn in order to mark the women who did so as Muslim.

Here are a couple examples of how the khimar might have been worn in jahiliyyah society. Notice how the khimur fall behind the backs of the women, leaving the chest uncovered and even exposed.

Another command for hijab comes in Surah al-Ahzab, ayyah 59: 

Prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and women believers to make their outer garments hang low over them so as to be recognized and not insulted: God is most forgiving, most merciful.

Here, Haleem chose to translate "adna al-jilbab" as making garments hang low, rather than as wrapping around, as others had translated. From this we can interpret either that women should wear long clothing/dresses or khimur, or we can understand it to mean that women should have a separate outer garment over the clothing, which should cover the woman and hang low, either from the shoulders or the head (such as what is now called abaya or jilbab). Again, we see that the reasoning behind the command is to keep the women from being harassed or insulted by being propositioned as prostitutes.

The Quran, also in Surah al-Ahzab, commands special hijab for the wives of the Prophet, radhiAllahu 'anhum, saying that they should speak from behind a screen for even further modesty due to their connection with Rasulullah, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam.

So, we can see that it is clear in the Quran that women should dress modestly and wear a headscarf in a particular manner. The question then is what all is to be covered. Allah subhana w ta'ala specifies in the Quran how to wear the khimar, that it should be brought forward to cover the chest and some translate to also say neckline or even chin. It is clear from the second ayyah that clothing should hang low to cover the body and, possibly, that women should have special outer garments for outside the home. But we don't have any specifics from within the Quran as to what, exactly, should be covered by clothing or jilbab. For these, we turn to the Ahadith. One main Hadith that comes to mind, though it's not classed as Sahih, is the following:

Asma’ bint Abi Bakr entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wearing a thin dress. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned away from her and said, “O Asma’, when a woman reaches the age of puberty, nothing should be seen of her except this and this”

It is narrated that the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi w salaam, pointed to the hands and the face, going back to the original ayyah and marking "what is readily apparent" for a woman to be able to do business, pray, etc. (as face and hands should be uncovered while performing salah). However, when we look at how women in Muslim countries dressed pre-contact (and contamination) by the Western World, we can get a better idea of how early Muslims interpreted hijab, jilbab, and even niqab from both the Quran and the Sunnah. Here are some examples:

Egypt

Egypt

Egypt

Egypt

Algeria

Saudi Arabia

Palestine

Eritrea 

Here we see different understandings of the command of hijab (please note the color photos are modern pictures of women in traditional dress; others are photos from the late 19th century when social anthropology work started up). All wear clothing which goes low to the ground and is loose. All cover the hair with khimur, and while some wear a specific jilbab or outer garment, others appear to just be wearing their normal, loose clothing accompanied with a long khimar (rather than wearing yet another garment over their normal clothing). We can see that in most of these photos, the forearm is visible due to sleeves being loose instead of form fitting, which is easier to make by hand and cooler in the heat of the desert. We can see that sometimes some hair can be seen, or a collarbone shows when the jilbab loosens while carrying something, and that niqabs did not always completely hide the face and clothing was decorated.

Because of this, and because of the grey area in the Quran and the weakness of the hadith which shows specifically what may or may not be shown, we tend to have conflicting understandings as to what is and is not hijab, what is and is not "adornment," and what is and is not tabarruj. Which brings us to the actual topic: 

Supporting our Sisters!

Too often we see new sisters harassed for not "correctly" following hijab. What we need to remember is that right now, we face so much more resistance to dressing in an Islamic manner. In Western society, a t-shirt with jeans or a midi/maxi skirt is seen as modest. When sisters, both reverts and born Muslims, start to try to wear hijab, they first put on the headscarf, as that is what society teaches is "hijab". But we shouldn't be rude to these sisters, saying to them "Jahanam is hotter" for wearing their scarf in a turban style in the heat, or wearing hijab with a short-sleeved/three-quarter-sleeved shirt (as I have seen many South Asian sisters and some new reverts do), or wearing belts at the waist or not wearing abaya. Unfortunately, though, this is what many face, especially on Instagram. Then, even as a sister evolves in her modesty, she gets harassed for even posting pictures of herself online. We need to remember that modesty is a PROCESS, especially in today's society! If we don't grow up with our moms and our friends' moms' and so on and so forth wearing khimar and abaya or jilbab, how can it be easy for us to do so? If we grow up seeing women on television in short skirts and crop tops, what else do we know of fashion? And if we live our lives wearing shorts and tank tops but then become Muslim and want to abide by hijab, which is obligatory, how much more difficult is that change? 

We need to remember that how we show our devotion to Allah 'azza w jal is between us and Him. Instead of harassing or attacking our sisters, we should focus on their efforts and commend them for starting the Jihad which is hijab (because, yes, it absolutely is a Jihad in today's society)! We should say, "Sister, I'm so proud of you for trying to start to wear hijab! Here is how I understand it, and here is why." We should realize most people cannot make an instantaneous switch from shorts to jilbab. Encourage sisters to continue learning about hijab and what it is and what it means. Invite her to try abaya or jilbab with you one day, so she doesn't feel so anxious in a society that views Muslim women not in Western clothing as terrorists. Answer her questions. And make duaa for her. But don't shame her for not yet meeting what you understand to be the standards of Islamic modesty, since the bar for this changes depending on the madhab and aqeedah a person follows. Do you want to be part of the reason someone chooses not to become Muslim, or even - astaghfirullah - decides to leave the Deen all together? The kinder we are, the more our sisters will listen, in shaa Allah.

Jazakum Allahu kheiran for sticking with me through the long video and text-heavy post! 

Sajida. 

Because fall means it's time for boots!

Product Review: Al-Mujalbaba Recycled Hijabs and Cotton Niqab!

Assalaamu alaikum!

Today's review is al-Mujalbaba's recycled hijabs, a product most don't know they offer, and a cotton niqab.

So, Jenneh over at al-Mujalbaba sells green and recycled hijabs. What this means is she takes the leftovers of fabric from when she is making her normal scarves, and she sews the scraps together to create full-size and individually unique scarves. The ones she sent us were all made of chiffon, but each scarf is unique and beautiful.

She makes them in standard rectangle, long rectangle, and maxi hijab sizes. She also creates square scarves. Her designs mix solid colors, patterns, and both.

All of the chiffon scarves were extremely lightweight and breathable, even for my co-wife, who overheats extremely easily.

Speaking of overheating... Jenneh sent a cotton niqab specifically for Eliza to test out and see how it worked for sisters who overheat and have asthma. You can see me wearing the niqab at the top of the post. Unfortunately, the material used wasn't very breathable, even for me (and I'm used to niqab and have them in different fabrics). This caused it to be hard to breathe and made Eliza and I nauseous, hot, and lightheaded when we both wore it (for periods of time lasting only about 15 minutes each). The good thing, though, is my previous complaint regarding the elastic being far too large has been fixed!

Here you can see the difference: The black niqab is the original elastic size I was sent a year ago, which didn't even fit on my Husband's (rather large) head. The middle is the elastic on the new niqab sent to me. The burgundy at the bottom is the size of the elastic where I altered it to fit my head (which is quite small). So the new elastic size is perfect for the average Muslimah and still fits on smaller sisters and adolescents, in shaa Allah.

Here you can see how the niqab fits me. Loose and comfortable due to my size, but nowhere near as loose as the older ones.

Overall, I was happy with this shipment. I was super excited to learn about the green and recycled hijabs, which you can buy here for $3 to $5. I can't wait for the next shipment from al-Mujalbaba, which will, in shaa Allah, include green and recycled hijabs made of georgette, which is a slightly heavier fabric than chiffon but which is used in her niqabs.

Jazakum Allahu kheiran! Please let me know if there is anything else you would like to see!

Sajida.

Product Review: Feradje Rachel Abaya!

Guys I'm super short. ^_^;;;

Assalaamu alaikum everyone! Today's review is on the Rachel Abaya from Feradje. Feradje sells high-end abayat, as well as quality hijabs and some knitwear.

The Rachel Abaya is a gorgeous burgundy color with a knit panel on the right side. The fabric is a lightweight crepe - great for all seasons other than the super hot and muggy summers we have here.

I'll be honest, when the representative from Feradje showed me the abaya they were sending, I was a little dubious - I don't typically wear patterned clothing so I was unsure of how I would feel once I actually put it on. But I found that the pattern really isn't all that overwhelming, especially as you can change the direction you wrap the abaya, hiding or exposing the pattern as much or as little as you wish.

When I received the abaya (shipping took one week from UK to my house in the US), I immediately tried it on. And I kind of laughed. The top picture shows what people see when they are talking to me... here is a picture of how long the abaya was on me:

Ok, now here is one showing that I can wrap the abaya around myself one and a half times: 

So you can see why this would be comical! I felt like I was playing dress up in adult clothing. But I am an adult. I swear!

So anyway, obviously the abaya needed to be hemmed. I was prepared for this, as my favorite winter abaya, also from Feradje, severely needed hemming as well. Luckily, my best friend is super handy with a sewing machine (whereas I am not and handsew all of my abayat and other items I make). So now I had an excuse to see my best friend, whom I hadn't seen in far too long, in my opinion (so, a few weeks). 

Here she is hemming my abaya. <3

For reference, my thumb is 2" long.

The widest part of the fabric we cut off was eight inches wide.  Now, the hemmed abaya ended up a little short for my tastes, but she was erring on the side of caution due to my only very recent lack of need of a walking aid and my pending back surgery.

Here's the abaya, hemmed. Don't mind my hands... I don't know what they were doing...

The leftover fabric we used to create a belt, with which the abaya was not accompanied. Now, it can be tied shut if I don't want to wear it as an open abaya/kimono. Here is a picture showing the burgundy side overlapping the patterned section, minimizing the affect of the busy pattern to make it much less overwhelming on such a small person.

The abaya itself is a wonderful display of fall colors, with the patterned side using burgundy, creams, orange, blue, reds, and purples. I paired it with jeans, a t-shirt, an aubergine scarf and burgundy niqab, and I was good-to-go! But the abaya could easily be dressed up by wearing a chiffon skirt, blouse, and using a black belt instead.

A casual and modest open abaya look.

But, as much as I love dressing up (seriously - my "casual" is business casual, as you can see here... ), I wanted to show the versatility of the abaya and how it can be worn open and casual as well. With wide-leg jeans, the wide and fluid abaya keeps you modest while still giving a look comfortable and casual enough for everyday or hanging out with friends, and is even appropriate for a relaxed office space!

Overall I am a fan of this abaya and excited to add it to my modest wardrobe!

To purchase this abaya (or to check out one of the many other wonderful options Feradje provides), go here.

If you want to see reviews of any specific products or brands, PLEASE do not hesitate to let me know! In shaa Allah I will do my best to secure a collaboration!

Jazakum Allahu kheiran,

Sajida.

Excuse me while I take selfies as I wait for my friend to get here...

Deen Talk! Women and Islam - Part One - Sexual Harassment. (TW: Rape Culture)

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum everyone.  Today's Deen Talk! is on Sexual Harassment, an issue which affects women in nearly every part of society, but which affects Muslim women in a more unique way. In shaa Allah this will be the first of a three-party series on Women and Islam.

So, unfortunately, sexual harassment is pretty pervasive in society. Let me start off by saying that sexual harassment, assault, and rape have NOTHING to do with sex and sexuality but, rather, have everything to do with power. The perpetrator is doing this to gain a sense of power over the victim. If it had anything to do with sex, little kids wouldn't get harassed and raped. (Blunt - sorry.)

So when we look at a girl who gets harassed, we should not be blaming her. There is absolutely no basis for this. Especially in the Muslim Ummah, this is even more ridiculous, as we are telling girls in hijab and even girls in jilbab and niqab "you were asking for it, because of how you dress/you aren't modest enough/you post pictures online/your eyes and hands are uncovered/etc.."

The fact that I've had to say the above in justification for wearing niqab is ridiculous enough. But it's even more ridiculous that online I'm sexually harassed by my Muslim brothers. Every. Day. And then I have sisters blaming me, for having old pictures without niqab up, for posting pictures in general, etc.

[Prophet], tell believing men to lower their glances and guard their private parts: that is purer for them. God is well aware of everything they do. 

Surah an-Nur, 24:30  

Guys, this is exactly what rape culture is. We should not be excusing the actions of men and blaming them on women. It's ridiculous that I should be held accountable for someone else's behaviour, especially when they were first commanded by Allah 'azza w jal to lower their gaze. This is even more illustrated in the following Hadith:

We need to be working together against this. This is EXACTLY why I am a feminist, which I started to say in the video but at 15 minutes realized the video was getting quite long. We need to stop claiming men are completely out of control of their behavior - this just isn't true, and Allah al-Alim showed us this by telling men FIRST to lower their gaze, before giving the women any command on hijab. And we need to stop blaming women for men who aren't controlling their own behavior and claiming they aren't modest for some reason or another - hijab is for Allah ta'ala. Yes, He gave it to us for our protection, to keep men from assuming we were prostitutes so they would, in shaa Allah, leave us alone. But by putting focus on the "fitna" women create by not "properly" following hijab (more on this next Friday!), and NOT putting ANY focus on men and the fitna they create by failing to properly follow hijab (both for us and for themselves), we are buying into the idea that rape is about sex and it's ultimately the fault of the woman or victim.

And that's why people are now sexualizing children, because now even 11 year-old-girls are being seen as "asking for it."

Gross.

Jazakum Allahu kheiran,
Sajida.

Product Review: Tasnim Collections Hafsah Jilbab and XXL Niqab

Sweater weather! <3

Assalaamu alaikum everyone! Today is Wednesday, and Wednesdays are for PRODUCT REVIEWS! And I'm FAR too excited about today's review! (Seriously! You don't even know! - Additionally, my apologies for it being put up around Maghreb time... I had an MRI today when I would have normally been writing up my blog.) 

Starting out, ordering from Joanna was a dream. She is so so sweet and very quick to respond. If you ever have any questions about an order (how heavy/warm fabric is, which color you should order, length of niqab, etc.), she responds promptly and will give her honest opinion, ma shaa Allah! If you are concerned about your package, she does her best to help, and if you want to order a fabric that she is nearly out of, she will let you know. Allahumma barik laha!

Shipping took about three weeks from when she mailed the package. My package left Morocco on August 18 and I received it after Maghreb on September 5. The shipping site for Poste Moroc can be a little confusing, especially after the package arrives in the U.S.. My package appeared to "arrive" at its destination about four times before it was actually delivered to me; I think it's a misunderstanding on the translation or system when it comes to how USPS works. 

When I opened my package (after a bad day and thinking it would, yet again, not arrive after appearing on the website  that it would), the first thing I noticed was the smell of Arabic coffee! I don't know why, but my jilbab I ordered smelled like Arabic coffee made with cardamom! The niqab, unfortunately, did not have this scent, but the scent really perked me up! Some initial thoughts while putting on the jilbab: 

"It's so wide!" 

"Oh wow it's the perfect length!" 

"The color isn't as bright as I expected..."

"Oh cool, I can use it as a niqab without tying it above my bun!"

See? No pins!

Note: Adding jacket does bring jilbab up some.

I think that, perhaps, the headband and ties are wider than other jilabib I've owned. This may be what allows the bottom part to get pulled up for use as niqab easily. However, you can order your jilbab with "niqab strings" when you order from Tasnim; these come standard with the khimar-niqabs. 

The Hafsah jilbab comes with thumb loops. I didn't think I would like these, I will admit. I don't tend to care if some of my forearm is exposed, even while wearing gloves, and prefer that to a lack of freedom of motion. As an artist, my sleeves getting pushed up is pretty normal. However, I actually like to use the thumb loops on this jilbab, especially during salah. I prefer them on my thumbs rather than my middle finger, as I feel more restricted with the latter. If I am wearing a jacket or cardigan I generally don't wear the loops, however, as that does either restrict movement quite a bit (for me) or it ends up bringing up the skirt of the jilbab further than I generally prefer.

The jilbab itself is lightweight and breathable, but not as breathable/cool as nidha fabric. However, this is probably the next best fabric I've worn, other than cotton. I had the jilbab cut "petite" due to my small size, and while it seems wide due to the cut, I know that, had I requested "regular," it would have been near to ridiculous and comical on me. As it is, I really love this cut - it's like a wide caftan or "Saudi" jilbab cut - and the flowiness helps keep you cool in the heat. I mentioned that the color isn't as bright as anticipated - on the computer and on the video the fabric appears much more vibrant than it does in real life and in the pictures posted here. However, the color is still beautiful and it REALLY brings out my olive undertones, to the point that I did double-takes several times the first day I wore it!

The niqab is absolutely gorgeous. When I put it on and realized it had an eye veil, which isn't noted or shown online, I was extremely excited, as none of my other niqabs have this. I don't really like to wear sunglasses with niqab because I feel it can look kind of weird and I know that a lack of seeing the face and eyes tends to... disturb people more than just niqab. However, with my light sensitivity, this isn't feasible (I even have to wear sunglasses at night if we are driving or if we are going on a walk, my sensitivity is this bad... and I'm on medication that makes it manageable). I've found that having the eye screen down (it can be flipped up if desired), while still needing sunglasses at times normal people also need sunglasses, allows me to be outside without them during normal lighting and at night. This has been a HUGE breakthrough for me as I feel it helps me interact more normally with others. 

Without eye screen.

With eye screen down.

The niqab has a ribbon at the nose. I was dubious about this at first, as I worried the wider ribbon (as compared to the string on my string niqab) would fit weird with my face due to how small I am. However, I really like it, and the length of it is just perfect (I had to alter the length of the string, which has now caused fraying) and I think it fits really well with my more goth-y style.

This niqab is super unique! I thought it was just a Saudi-style niqab, but instead the "two" veil layers are actually connected!

As you can see, when you flip the first veil layer over your face, it becomes a wide circle of fabric, with no hem. Each side also has ties, so you can bring forward the veil layers to cover your arms and chest without flipping it forward. Another suggestion (unshown), was to tie the niqab ties to the wrists to keep full coverage behind you while walking. 

The niqab, as named, is quite long! It is so long, in fact, that I was concerned it would touch the ground due to my short stature. Luckily, it doesn't, but if you are shorter than 4'10", it's quite possible that it will. You should be able to speak with Joanna via email and it may be possible for them to shorten the length if desired. 

Here you can see how long the niqab is on me, and how wide the jilbab is, even at "petite". 

The niqab portion itself is close to the longest I like on me, as much longer can make eating difficult. The fabric used by Tasnim Collections for this niqab is very similar to the fabric used by Sunnah Style, if you have used their niqabs before. It's not as breathable as Saudi Crepe, but it is likely the next-most breathable fabric on the market. 

Overall, I'm extremely happy with this order, and I would love to try other items from Tasnim, bi'ithnillah, as they have some really beautiful and innovative designs which I haven't found elsewhere! If you want to order the Hafsah jilbab, go here, and if you would like to order the XXL Niqab (which also comes in several color choices!), go here.

In shaa Allah you enjoyed my review as much as I enjoy these products! Please let me know if there is something specific you would like to see reviewed!

Jazakum Allahu kheiran, 

Sajida. 

Because doesn't everyone put on their new clothes at 8pm and watch Smallville?